Sunday, 8 August 2010

Italian ice cream and contemplation.


Hey, I'm back from my adventures. I had a really nice time in Italy, and it was great to do something independently. Turns out flying on your own isn't much different from taking the train or the bus on your own. My friend once met someone at uni who'd never been on a public bus before, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.

Anyway, Italy was great, but too hot and I got devoured by mosquitoes. They seem to like me, but my skin reallly doesn't like them and I had a massive allergic reaction to them. Pale pasty chunky legs + lots of red angry swelling lumps = a very unattractive mess. I didn't feel that hot stood next to amazingly thin and tanned Italian women. I'm just not made for the heat!

The scenery and overall experience of Italy, however, was pretty good. The food was great, the buildings were breathtaking and the people were friendly. Sometimes too friendly, but I guess me and my friend did stand out quite a lot with our moon white legs and constantly sweaty complexions. We were bound to get some comments. And, I've never eaten so much pasta and cheese in my entire life. It's on everything, and in everything. It was definitely turning into a 'too much of a good thing' kind of situation in the end. I was kind of looking forward to a beef stew when I got home. (I don't even think I've ever had beef stew before, but I was trying to think of the most English dish and that's all that popped into my head.)

So now I'm home and everything has settled back into the mundane trudge of everyday life. God, I'm such a pessimist aren't I? I wish I'd taken better photos whilst I was In Milan, but if we're wishing for stuff I wish that I had an amazing camera with which to take amazing photos with in Italy. Despite doing photography at A-level I still feel like I'm not too great with a camera. I know how I want things to look, and I know what I want to get from a shot, but it never really seems to work out. I see a lot of blogs with amazing pictures on them, and I'm just like, 'Wow'. I can talk a lot of airy crap about a photo, but I can't really capture things the way I want to.

This all kind of brings me onto something that I feel has been holding me back from blogging more. (Apart from the obvious fact that loading photos onto here is more tedious and annoying than a crack in a glass eye.) The things is that I feel like I don't really know what to blog about. I'm not that crazy about make-up, as I don't buy it enough, or care that madly about it to blog about it. I don't cook enough to focus on recipes and food. I don't buy that many clothes, nor am I that focused on fashion and trends to talk for pages about what I'm going to buy or what I want. And although I read many books, and watch quite a few films, reviewing doesn't really do it for me. I think I've dabbled in all of the above somewhere in this blog, in the hope of kind of finding my direction. It's kind of how I feel in real life tbh: Jack of all trades, master of none.

Oh dear, I didn't mean for this to such a pessimistic and despondent post, but I guess that's pretty much how I feel at the minute. I kind of always think, 'Oh, I'll do this post with all of these pictures', and then realise that I don't have a decent camera, so I just don't bother. I guess I feel intimidated by all of the other beautiful bloggers out there. To me it's not about the amount of followers, that's not really an issue, it's about the content and the amazing talents behind all of the blogs that I visit. I guess it's that age-old issue where you feel like the awkward new kid in the class, and you just sit and admire the cooler kids who you know you'll never be like.

I guess to me, inspiration and aspiration is also riddled with intimidation and self-doubt. You see how good everyone else is, you compare yourselves to them, and then you give up and ask 'why bother?' I think I need to change the way I think about this. Comparing yourself with others is a dark road to go down 'for there will always be better and lesser persons than yourself'. I know you don't need amazing pictures or an expensive camera to make a great blog, but it feels that I've had this blog for so long and not really utilized it.

Hopefully this will change! I'm tempted to start again, but I don't think that would be right. I like the name of this blog, and you can't really delete things in rl, so I shall move onwards and upwards. *Que fan fair and choruses of Hallelujah* :)

Do any new bloggers share my feelings? And do any of you well honed writers have any advice? I'm really interested to know what other people's opinion is on this.
xxx

7 comments:

  1. Hey honey, sometimes i sit down to type a post and im llike, hmmm what the hell to write about. other days, i know exactly what I want to share. I guess the thing is, you just have to do what you want. It doesnt have to be specifc - i mean hell, my blog is ALL over the place, but thats what makes it mine ya know... just write about what you are feeling/thinking/loving/even hating. I hope you find your groove soon sweetness. xox

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  2. mmmm, i love gelatos:D

    xoxo,Carrie
    http://www.readmylifeascarrie.blogspot.com/

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  3. I haven't reviewed a film in ages, despite seeing several since Kick Ass. i know what you mean - for one thing it tends to be a lack of motivation/inspiration. I think you should write about whatever you find most interesting at that particular time. And don't compare - people love blogs because they're an expression of an individual, not a group. A lot of bloggers find it helps to have one day a week where they'll do a certain kind of blog post - like lilyloveslola does her Monday summary, liveforfilm does Sunday links etc. xxx

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  4. First Wow the icecream looks amazing, so colourful, yummy. Second just stick with the blog and try and focus yourself a little more. If there is one specific thing you want to write about then stick to it and post as often as you can, that is the only way to get readers (I know you said it wasn't about followers, but still they kinda give you the confidence boost you need half the time, at least thats what I found) I have been going nearly a year have around 350 followers but still get down when I see newer blogs with far more followers or amazing photos that I feel I may never be able to reach the standard of. But keep at it and you will improve (I feel I have lots in just this year) and you will make friendships that will eventually be the reason you keep blogging. At the end of the day you need to do this because you want to and because you enjoy it, don't force yourself or it will never amount to anything and will feel like a chore.
    Sorry for such a long comment. Swing by my blog Daisy Dayz Home if you want Im more than happy to chat!

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  5. Hey Emma glad my comment helped. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and evaluate why your doing this. Hope you can push through this barrier and get blogging again. Daisy Dayz Home

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  6. ice cream mmmmmm:) love your postsxx

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  7. I feel like the awkward new girl in the class too! Thank you for following me :) it cheered up my day!

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Let me know what you think!

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